The Confessions Of One Mr Arthur Kirkland
by lotrcrazygirl
Summary: Fed up of waiting for Al, Artie storms to his room to find his old diary collection. When he reads through the pages he remembers some things that he would rather have left forgotten, but could he also discover something that changes his life forever?
1. Chapter 1

AN: I'm actually pretty excited about writing this story ^^ It is going to be my first attempt at a Hetalia Fanfic and I hope you all enjoy it! :D

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That Wanker! Why was he always so bloody late!

Thus where my present thoughts of that loveable idiot American who was now – I looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time that day – Two Whole Bloody Hours Late! That Twat! Doesn't he realise that – being the eternally punctual nation that I am – I am always ready and awaiting his arrival with ten minutes to spare? Damn Git...

With a loud, rather undignified huff, I slammed my empty tea cup down on the coffee table beside me, glorying in the loud clacking sound it made when it came into contact with its matching china plate.

"That's enough!" I shouted to no one in particular before storming out of my tastefully decorate living room.

"Why is he always so bloody late!" I raged. I wasn't sure where exactly I was heading at the moment, but I was past caring, so I just let my feet carry me wherever it was they wanted to go.

Eventually I found my self in my spacious bed room and slumped down onto my four poster bed sighing exhaustedly.

I don't think I will ever fully understand that American. He even made a point of rearranging our meeting to an hour earlier than originally planned and he still ends up being two hours late. _Does he even realise how ironic that is_, I thought indignantly. _Does he even know what ironic means,_ I added causing a sly grin to find its way onto my features.

I shook the thoughts out of my head before standing again and observing my well arranged room. _That damned American has already made me wait long enough, I'm not going to just sit here doing nothing. Its not as if I need him around to have a good time!_ I thought adamantly.

Sighing in frustration I noticed my well stocked bookshelf in the corner of the room and trudged stubbornly over to it to begin searching through the many titles it held in its ample shelves.

_Maybe some Shakespeare or Jane Austen will lighten my mood_ I fancied, feeling optimistic. My countries outstanding literature never failed to captivate me whenever I picked up a volume and allowed myself to get swept away in the fantastical worlds described within. However, today it seemed not even Shakespeare could lighten my mood as my eyes scanned over the many titles I owned and found that nothing stood out amongst the crowd.

Shelly, Keats, Wordsworth, not even Thomas Hardy held any interest for me now. Reluctantly I decided that I would let fate decide on what I should read. Covering my eyes with one gloved hand, I raised another and pointed at random to a section of my bookshelf. On opening my eyes I discovered that I was pointing to a small collection of old leather bound tomes that held no title.

Curiosity sparked within me as I grabbed the first volume on the left and eagerly opened the cover to read:

"_What follows here after is the diary of me, Mr. Arthur Kirkland, so if you aren't me put the damn book down and get the bloody hell out of my room!"_

I chuckled fondly as the memory of writing those words and flicked idly through the pages of childish rantings. Hundreds of years had past since I first made an entry in these forgotten dusty pages and I was suddenly intrigued as to how much of my past would be captured between the crumbling leather bindings.

Returning to the first page I began to read from where I had left off.

"_My bastard brother Scottie told me I should vent my anger on some parchment instead of on his borders so I have reluctantly taken his advise because I have nothing better to do at the moment. Mostly because Flying Mint Bunny has just left with Uni and the others, NOT because there isn't anything of interest to do in my splendid nation! Just look at all of the majestic castles my people are building right now! And Hadrian's Wall! That will look simply grand when it is completed! Plus it will add to my defences against that blasted Scots Man!"_

_Wow. Its hard to imagine Hadrian's Wall during its construction now _I thought, shocked at just how many years had passed since I began to write in these pages. It even made me a little sad to think that, what had once filled me with so much anticipation during the 6 years that it had taken to build it, was now reduced to hardly more than a shadow of its former glory. Internally I cursed myself for allowing my people to remove materials from the wall, even though it had seemed that the construction works they had been used in where of the utmost importance at the time. Shaking my head I returned my attention to the worn parchment.

"_Anyway, that is enough ranting for one day. I'm not entirely sure on the protocol for writing ones first diary entry but I'm guessing it may be appropriate to begin by describing myself. I am an extremely mature and powerful nation considering my age and size. Of course I have been taken over by several much older and larger countries in the past but I have always won through in the end! Mostly thanks to my impressive knowledge within the field of Black Magic. I am by no means ashamed of admitting how skilled I am in the art, in fact I find false modesty excruciatingly undesirable."_

_At least that much hasn't changed_ I observed proudly. I still retain the position of most powerful practitioner of magic within the world and I will never be ashamed of saying it because it is entirely true. Of course Norway may have been almost as good as me at one point, but he would never surpass the mighty Britain! I would make sure of that! Smiling devilishly at the thought I continued to read.

"_Aesthetically I am still rather short with unyieldingly messy locks of blonde hair and deep green eyes. I also have larger than average eyebrows but I refuse to pluck or style them because that's what girls like Francey Pants do! I refuse to be like that wanker in any way! Although being as tall as the bastard might be nice..."_

Smiling at how my hate for the frog had evidently been omnipresent even as a young lad I closed the book and returned it to its position on the shelf. Glancing through my open bedroom door towards the grandfather clock in the hallway I noticed that Alfred was now two and a half hours late. Pouting angrily at the feeling of betrayal and abandonment that this discovery brought on me I turned away from the clock and stubbornly pulled out another volume of my extensive diary.

If that wanker isn't even going to bother to show up on time I'll just keep myself company!

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AN: First Chapter done ^^ I hope you liked it ^^ It was actually pretty difficult imaging how Chibi Iggy would write 0.o I hope I pulled it off ok o.0

Anyways please review and let me know what you think! ^^ I've already started on the second chapter so it should be updated soon ^^

Review! Pwease... I'll give u cookies :p


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Wow! So many reviews and story alerts already! Thanks so much guys! Cyber Cookies for all of you ^^ so as promised here is the second chapter. Its out a lot earlier than I thought it would be! I didn't have work today so I was able to spent all day writing it ^.^ I've tried to add a bit of humour into this chapter and I've made it a lot longer coz the last one was far too short! I hope you all enjoy it ^.^

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Anger still pulsed menacingly through my veins as I peeled open the second volume. Judging by the contents of the entries, a considerable amount of time must have past since I had begun the diary. It must have been at least 300 years because it seemed that I had been recently released from my annexing by Mr Rome, a fact I remember being rather ecstatic about. Feeling the anger slowly burn out, I began to read my victorious diary entry.

"_That tall bastard Rome has finally left me alone! Now I can run around with uni and the others all day without being forced to clean the git's huge suit of armour every five minute! Of course Tink had helped me clean it with her magic most of the time... But that's is besides the point! My time is my own again! I cant wait to have Flying Mint Bunny teach me some new magic!"_

I smiled at the thought of my magical friends. They had always been there for me without fail. Not like my bastard brothers. And Flying Mint Bunny was always the best teacher of magic. It must have taken a lot of patience to teach me in the early days when I was too enthusiastic to listen properly to his lectures and just rushed ahead with the spells. Most of the time causing a rather loud and no doubt pretty damn dangerous explosion to rip through the basement that had been my makeshift classroom. Oh, speak of the devil... The magical rabbit flew energetically through my open door and bobbed excitedly above my shoulder.

"Hello Arthur!" He greeted me as happy as usual.

"Good day old chap!" I said, equally as enthusiastic in my greeting. "I was just thinking about you and the others. How have you all been? I haven't seen you for some time now..." I finished, the disappointment of their short absence from my life painfully evident in my voice.

"Oh I'm sorry Arthur!" The green rodent exclaimed with concern. "Its just you have seemed to busy recently with the European debt crisis and such! We didn't think you would have time to play with us!" With that he landed lightly on my shoulder and snuggled into my chin, making me giggle like a young child when his whiskers tickled against me.

Smiling fondly at him and scratching his chin just the way he liked it, I answered him by shaking my head and saying, "My dear fellow! You know I always have time for you and the gang!"

With a happy squeak he began soaring around my head giggling wildly.

"I'm happy to hear that Arthur! I was worried you would send me away when if I came over to see you. How is life treating you these days?" He rambled excitedly.

"Not too bad considering my financial state at the moment. Although one of my politicians was scolded by Mister Cameron yesterday. I believe he swore in the house of commons. Though the curse was nothing compared to the stuff Leprechaun comes out with sometimes. It caused an uproar when he said it though. I must say it was rather difficult to refrain from laughing at the absurdity of it all. God forbid if Leprechaun got hold of the microphone while they where in session! I fear the whole country may fall apart from the way they have blow this out of proportion! Sorry I'm rambling aren't I? What have you and the others been up to recen... " I cut my self off when I noticed my magical companion had stopped dead in his tracks on noticing the leather bound lexicon that was still held open in my hands.

"What's that Arthur?" He asked. He seemed suddenly concerned for some inexplicable reason.

"Don't worry old bean! Its only one of the volumes of my seasoned diary collection. Nothing too sinister." I finished sarcastically with a cheeky wink, however the expression quickly dropped from my features when I noticed the concern had only grown more obvious within Flying Mint Bunny's expression.

"You should be careful with those Arthur. I know how you can get swept up in books sometimes. Please try not to get caught up in your past." He cautioned severely, and with that he floated out of the room leaving me rather confused to say the least.

Of course I knew that there would be some things in my diary collection that I would rather forget, but I'm not some Alzheimer's riddled old man. Nothing in these books could hold any real surprise for me. Could it?

Shaking my head at my magical friend's rather unfounded concern, I returned to the pages of my old diary.

"_A lot of time has past since that wanker Rome turned me loose. It's strange I feel almost guilty for neglecting my diaries for so long. Its not as if the pages care if they haven't been filled. Anyway, since that time I have learnt a lot of magic from Minty and Uni has been telling me ancient stories from a place far away called Greece. I love Uni's stories! They are so fantastical and exciting, but strangely they still retain some kind of message within them that encourages one to become a better person. But mostly it is the adventure and mystical creatures they describe that intrigues me so! The endless labyrinth with the terrible half man half beast creature! The magic that makes one able to soar beside the stars like a magnificent bird, only to be thwarted by the jealous sun! The Gods that walk amongst their subjects searching for any kind of human connection! Oh I do love those stories so! And speaking of Gods my Boss has announced me as a Christian nation. He hasn't explained the notion to me clearly yet though I am sure my God wont be flirting with the ladies of my court as the Greek ones do. I must say I was rather excited to be given a new title although the fact that the Frog bastard has done the same as me makes it feel a little less special. And I hate the thought that we are united in some way! But regardless of that my Boss is going to explain it to me in more detail soon. From now on I am a proud Catholic Nation! Whatever that means..."_

_If only I could return to those days of religious certainty,_ I thought wistfully. Why did my damn king have to invent a whole new branch of our religion just so that he could get a new wife. That selfish bastard. Even now I'm not entirely sure as to what religion my nation is. Shaking the negative thoughts away I scanned through a several pages until I noticed some more insulting of Francis was taking place. Smiling prophetically I began to read the entry.

"_That damn Frog came over today to boast about how amazingly strong his country was compared to mine. Why should I care if he had managed to annex some tiny country, that no one has even heard of anyway, when I had only just been released from my own annexing by Rome! That damn git! I'll show him the true power of the Mighty England! I'm getting Leprechaun to teach me some new curse words tomorrow so I can use them on the twat the next time he comes over to boast. I think I'll try and convince Flying Mint Bunny to teach me a few good magical curses too"_

I let out a rather loud laugh as I spotted that I had drawn a small self portrait of a younger me smiling menacingly as if plotting something rather sinister. I skipped a few more pages before I began to read again.

"_Ha! Serves the jerk right! France came over all bandaged up and wining about how some invading party had defeated one of his Dukes. In fact, it was the same Duke, that the twit had been boasting about on his previous visit! Colour me impressed with my impressiveness! My curses must have finally worked! I will have to thank Minty the next time he comes over. And I believe that that will be tomorrow! He told me that he would teach me how to shrink and expand objects. But unfortunately he says it wont work on living things. Damn it! I would have loved to see that blasted Frogs face if I had been able to shrink him to my current size and made myself taller than he is now!"_

Eagerly I found the diary entry that followed directly after that one, keen to remind myself of the details of one of Flying Mint Bunny's magic lessons.

"_Oops. I think my boss might be a little angry with me now. Well, at least he will be when he finds out what I have done to his writing desk and parchment set. Right, so basically Minty's lesson had been a flying success! No pun intended. Anyway I had been in my magic basement with Minty and he had given me the different incantations for the shrinking and growing spells, so using the pebbles Minty had collected for my lesson I practised the spells and actually managed to be rather successful. Well, at least nothing exploded this time anyway... Moving on, I had just finished my lesson with Minty and I was feeling pretty proud of my new skills so I decided I would go and practise some more on my own. Obviously I started small making sure I didn't try and transfigure something of any importance in case I my spell backfired but everything was going perfectly well. I managed to transform several pebbles into large boulders which I then rolled down a hill with the help of Leprechaun and Hook. I blame them for my often feral behaviour. After we had our fun Hook suggested we should go and play a trick on my boss. The plan was to expand his work desk a little so that his rather round figure wouldn't quite be able to squeeze through the already rather narrow gap between it and the wall. Well, that had been the plan anyway. Unfortunately my plans never do seem to run there course smoothly. Hook and Leppy found me a safe route in so that no one would see me in my hooded black cloak as I ghosted into my bosses work area. Once I was in all I had to do was make the desk bigger. Well of course that didn't happen because I think I must have gotten too excited in my mischief and I turns out I managed to cast both the shrinking and growing spells at the same time. Impressive I know, but rather inconvenient at this point because the desk was hit with the shrinking spell and ended standing at little more than half a foot above the ground. That may seem bad enough on its own, however that was not the end of my troubles. No. The blasted quills and parchment sheets just had to grow to ten times their normal sizes didn't they! Bloody hell it was a mess in there. Parchment sheets as big as curtains and giant quills that looked like they had been taken from the plumage of a mighty griffin from one of Uni's tales laid messily across the floor. Blast it all! I had thought in a panic before retreating from the room with Hook and Leppy hot on my heels. And now I am here in my room writing in this damn book when I should probably be hiding up a tree somewhere. Christ! I just heard him scream for me to "get the bloody hell down here". I think I'm going to go hide in a tree now."_

I let out an audible laugh at that information and remember how I had found the tallest tree in my garden and hidden in it for several days, relying on Minty and Tinkerbell to feed me. Of course when I eventually came back down to apologies – because that was what mature nations like myself do – I was scolded rather severely and forced to rearrange the room for him. But luckily Tink made Hook and Leppy help me clear up the mess since they had been the ones that had encouraged me in the first place.

I have no idea how I would have managed without my magical friends, and suddenly I felt bad for ignoring Flying Mint Bunny's advise on reading my diaries. But it was fun looking into my distant past. And I was finding it made me more appreciative of what I have now. Closing the second volume I returned it to the book shelve and pulled out a third.

This was shaping up to be a rather satisfying past time.

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Ok a quick word on the whole swearing in the house of commons thing. I was listening to the radio last night and BBC news where making a big deal about the Kingswood Conservative MP swearing during his speech. So they started playing the audio clip and as he was talking I was thinking, there is going to be a loud beep in a minute, but then he just said that putting a cap on benefits was " a damn disgrace." I just had to laugh at how the other Mps where all cheering about what he was saying one second and then they where all like Ooooh! Coz he said damn... Then Cameron comes in and says "Lets try and use proper parliamentary language shall we." So I was just sitting in the car laughing my head off at it all. What makes it even more awesome is that I live really close to Kingswood so if I ever meet that MP im definitely gonna high five him for providing me with some fanfic material ^^

Anyways enough of that rather epic little news story, thanks again for reviewing and faving the story guys ^^ cyber cookies for you!

If you review this time, there will be cake ^^

Thanks for reading!


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